Franklin Matters: Franklin TV: Shovels

Sooo much snow. We need ‘em. We hate ‘em.

by Pete Fasciano, Executive Director 03/01/2026

The Shovel. A most basic tool. When you need one it’s usually in the moment when your day has taken a turn for the worst. Something heavy or disgusting needs to be scooped up and moved with a shovel. Shovels come in all shapes and sizes. There’s even a special shovel for picking up after the dog – but I digress.

My first experience with a shovel was disarmingly fun. I was a tiny tyke at the beach. Among my plastic beach toys, a pail and a small shovel – for playing in the sand. I believe it’s a deceptive ploy by a shady shovel manufacturers association – a cabal – dedicated to maximizing shovel usage and sales. Start ‘em young – so the kiddies accept shovel usage as – normal. It’s that classic approach by the tobacco industry decades ago. Doctors warned us about smoking. Now they warn us about shoveling. Shoveling is bad.

No matter where you live in the U.S. there is a need to shovel – something. In the North, you’re shoveling snow after every storm. In the South? You’re shoveling sand into bags before every storm. There’s no escape. Shovels are evil.

So – I plan to strike back.

My plan? Promote a green initiative that greatly reduces the number of shovels that the shady shovel manufacturers can sell. We hit ‘em in the pocketbook.

In the North, we need shovels in Winter to move snow. In the South, we need shovels in Summer to move sand.

I say we develop a shovel allocation/relocation system that strategically redeploys shovels where needed during every Spring and Fall. As birds fly South, we ship shovels North, and in Spring we ship shovels South. Shovel shipping is my bold retaliatory strike against evil shovel oligarchs – even if I’m digging my own grave.