Monday, April 21, 2025

I can’t go everywhere my daughter goes – and it’s heartbreaking | Well actually | The Guardian

"We met K when she was a week old. We were foster parents and not expecting a call about a newborn. Despite becoming her mom with just 12 hours’ notice – we adopted her the next year – my early months with her felt so natural.

I had been disabled for six years. While on a hike, I developed dysautonomia, which is secondary to a genetic connective tissue disorder called hEDS [hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome]. I experience a great deal of daily pain and can’t stand for more than a minute or sit upright unsupported for more than five.

As a result, I spend most of my day reclined. Her high need for physical contact in infancy fit my need to rest all day. She didn’t need a mom who could pace. She needed a mom who didn’t get bored lying on the sofa. We were a perfect match.

After a few months with K, we started to make plans. The first was a trip to a small island called Lummi off the coast of Washington state. We flew out of Oakland; a friend drove us to the airport and helped us check the bags. David pushed me in my wheelchair, and I carried K on my lap. Once in the air, we learned the hard way that air pressure changes can contribute to diaper blowouts, but the flight was, generally, fine."
I can’t go everywhere my daughter goes – and it’s heartbreaking | Well actually | The Guardian
For some disabled or chronically ill people, leaving the house isn’t possible at all. But for others, the barriers are structural. Composite: The Guardian/Getty Images
 
 
 
 
 
 

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