Friday, October 8, 2010

Mr. Lemon Hero or Villian?

Franklin Matters is happy to introduce our new monthly feature “Voices of Franklin”; each month we will be unleashing Lydia Dustin into the community to track down and interview some of Franklin’s most fascinating people.
For my first interview I sat down with one of Franklin’s most controversial characters.  None other than Franklin’s most popular ice cream man Mr. Lemon.   Mr. Lemon, his name elicits strong reactions. The kid’s hear his musical truck and burst into squeals of delight. Parents on the other hand hear his cheery tune and want to burst into a string of expletives. Mr. Lemon is he a hero or villain? Love him or hate him I sat down to get to know the real man behind the mystery.  
I sat down with Mr. Lemon at my kitchen table. His familiar yellow and green truck parked in front of my house. With the neighborhood kids swarming around outside like bees I got right to business.
Mr. Lemon, do you know that you are one of the most beloved and at the same time disliked people in Franklin?
I have actually heard and witnessed this tenfold. Children always run up to me and parents always give me like a pretty evil scowl whenever they see me. Don’t get me wrong, some parents actually enjoy my company. But, some of the parents…start to get aggravated that I am always around. It’s money out of their pocket and it’s sugar into their children.
Being a parent I will tell you that parents do discuss you. You are a popular topic at bus stops and play grounds. A lot of families feel that you actually stalk them because you show up everywhere they go, including their homes. You seem to magically be able to be in more than one place at the same time.  Which made me wonder if you do seriously posses super human powers that make it possible for you to be all around Franklin at the same time?
I can not confirm nor deny those allegations.
I see. Do you have any other super human powers that you can share with us?
I have the power to make children love me.
That’s a wonderful power to have.
That is a wonderful power to have, but sadly it doesn’t work on the adults.
Do you have a loyal sidekick?
No I don’t.
Do you have an evil nemesis?
Yes I do.
Oh you do?
Yes, Juniper Farms. Yes, they are my nemesis.
Do they have an ice cream truck as well?
Yes they do.
I have never heard of them.
They have a blue truck that drives around Franklin, although they have not been around lately.
Have you thwarted their evil plans?
I have. I have shown up to locations before them and have devastated their business, several times over and over…Not to be cruel, but business is business.
Is there any substance that weakens your super powers, like Kryptonite?
Yes. The sun! I am a fat kid running a marathon in that truck it’s horrible…I am pushing 300 pounds and the temperature in that truck can get between 100 to 113 degrees. 
That’s terrible.
I am literally driving an Easy Bake Oven.
You are baking in an oven yet the ice cream is chilling in frosty coolers? Can’t you make a big cooler for yourself and sit in there like the ice cream?
No. I wish I could. I shove my head in the cooler every now and then. 
This is an incredible oxymoron you suffer in the heat in order to provide cold refreshments to others?
Yes. It’s a bitter sweet irony.
You are a true super hero. You sacrifice your comfort and even your health to bring our children ice cream treats. You risk your life for our children’s happiness. Sniff sniff Shame on all us parents!
I know. If only they understand the torture I go through to make their children happy.
We are lucky to have had an ice cream man like you. Sadly we are having this interview because this is your last day of work.
Will we be seeing you next summer?
No. I’m going to concentrate on my music and spend time with the wife and son.
Oh. You will be missed, by me and especially my kids. Thank you for bringing smiles to the faces of the children of Franklin. But, before you go back into your super hero hideout can I ask you one more question?
Are you the real Mr. Lemon?
No, no
Are there other Mr. Lemons in other towns?
Yeah, there was…
What happened?
Now it’s just me…
Who is the real Mr. Lemon?
I am not at liberty to say.
I know his secret. He basically like Santa and you are one of his helper’s?
Essentially yes, that’s basically what’s going on.
Does he live at the North Pole?
No, he does not live at the North Pole.
But, he does really exist?
I’ll never tell.

No comments:

Post a Comment