“Clear expectations with consistent consequences.”

“Clear expectations with consistent consequences.”

This is the number one message from the forum for parents on adolescent substance abuse and other social issues held at the King Philip Regional High School on Wednesday, December 17th.

Dr. Nicole Danforth from the Massachusetts General Hospital Addiction Recovery program highlighted this in her summary of the four take aways she provided to the parents. She carefully explained that teenagers are having a tough time growing up but that this is due to the normal biological development period that occurs. If she were to put her finger on the single age when the human brain is completely formed and enabled for rational decision making, it would be 25. So there is no need to wonder why a 15 or 18 year old can’t make a good decision especially where alcohol and other substances are involved.

Dr. Danforth’s four take aways

1. Adolescents are not mini-adults
2. Risk taking is normal, biologically driven and inevitable
3. Binge drinking is common
4. You (as a parent) matter more than you think

You need to be a parent for your teen. They have plenty of friends. Be a good role model. Set out the guidelines on what you will allow, what you won’t. Show your concern. This will help them to frame the risk taking they will try. They can and do take risks in many aspects of their life. At this age with the peer pressure and culture that abounds, just speaking out in class can be taking a risk. They don’t need to be taking a risk with alcohol where the consequences can be life altering.

Steve Adamec, director of the Bristol County Family Stabilization Team seconded Dr. Danforth’s line on clear expectations with consistent consequences. He emphasized that this can come from communication, communication, communication.

He provided 3 c’s

1. Create
2. Connect
3. Communicate

Teens who have developed a strategy for dealing with stress are more likely to avoid substance abuse.

Image via Wikipedia
How can you connect with your teen? Steve outlined 5 key opportunities:

1. Pick a fictional character
2. Use a “role” model from media (i.e Brittany Spears)
3. An athlete
4. A classmate
5. A relative

Any one of these opportunities can provide an entry to the conversation. Ask specific questions that require more than a single word answer. Follow up on the first response. Not to be negative, not to be punitive but to be inquisitive and caring.

“Silence is permission.” If you don’t say anything, you have provided your tacit approval for their behavior or conduct.

Michael Jackman from the Norfolk County District Attorney's Office reinforced the importance of keeping the conversation going. He referenced studies that show when teens are provided a clear message with distinct consequences; they are less likely to end up with substance abuse.

Parents will benefit when they can delay their teens first use of alcohol. This ties back into the biological development going on at this time that Dr. Danforth discussed. Alcohol early in their teen years can do some damage. If their first drink is in their 20’s, the damage will be less. They will be better enabled to handle it.

Michael went on to discuss the online behavior of today’s teens. They are tech saving, texting and always connected via their cell phones. Parents who have been focused on the predator awareness for their younger children still need to have conversations with their teenagers. The teens do not grasp the fact that once they post a picture on the internet that is available for anyone to see. Their online profile is important. Parents need to be involved because the teens are so into the moment and invincible, they do not think about the long term consequences of their actions. They are not capable of it at this age.

Plainville Police Chief Edward Merrick emphasized that it is the parents job, really their obligation to be involved with their teen. Make the effort to know your teens friends, and the parents of their friends. If they are going to do an overnight, check to see that the parents are there. Those parents will appreciate the fact that you checked in with them. Be aware of the social host obligation. There are ramifications if you don’t. Parenting is not rocket science but it is not something you have to do alone. There are plenty of resources available.

Let your teen know that there will be consequences every time they step outside the boundaries you have set for them.

King Philip Superintendent Dr. Dick Robbat facilitated the Q&A section. The panel agreed that there is no such thing as “healthy adolescent drinking”. This is not to say that for a special occasion, religious or cultural event, that there can’t be a sip of wine or champagne. This is a family decision and due to the religious and cultural aspects of it, they would not say it was good. Framed in that context, the act of a single drink becomes special.

Just as the W.A.S.T."E".D. Information session at Franklin High was the first of a series, there will be additional forums and information sessions on this and related topics at King Phillip.

The conversation needs to continue.

How to Avoid the Holiday Over-Eating Blues

As the holiday season gets busy, Christine Kane has some great advice on how to physically survive the parties. In particular, I see point #5 as being very important. I hope you enjoy this!


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Office parties. Family gatherings. Neighborhood open-houses. Like it or not, holiday time is party time!

Since the season is here, I want to introduce you to a concept that might just make your holidays a little more enlightened:

Nervous Food.

Nervous Food is my name for any edible thing we shove into our mouths when we're in social situations. Not because we WANT it. But because it's there.

Like the mushroom caps - stuffed with what could easily be described as Alpo. Or the crab puffs that we snarf down, as Hal from HR recites the latest office policy on Instant Messaging.

First, let me be clear: this is not about diets or weight-loss.

This is about going unconscious.

It's about leaving your present-moment awareness back in the comfort of your quiet home.

Here are a few techniques to help you stay conscious and connected in any social situation. Try them, and you might discover that you can leave parties feeling energized and purposeful. Not stuffed and buzzed.

1 - Take a pre-party temperature reading.

Take your "temperature" about social settings.

Are you uncomfortable at parties? Do you eat food without tasting it? Can you talk about anything with anyone? Or do you prefer an intense conversation with one or two people? Do you often feel left out or uneasy? Do you try to be in the know?

There are no right answers. This is to simply get clear about your desires and behaviors, and to honor that clarity. Self-awareness is the starting point.

2 - Set your intentions.

Prior to any social situation, set intentions.

What does this mean?

This means that you create your experience before you walk through the door of the event. It means that YOU set the tone for your whole evening.

Do this before you leave your house. Or while sitting in your car outside the party.

Simply intend who you will BE and what you will DO at this event.

Some examples:

I'm a great listener. I truly taste the food I eat. I delight in other people's passions and interests. I have lots of fun without overindulging. I attract the perfect conversations. I am loved.

Your intention is powerful and will act as sort of a beacon to guide you during the party.

3 - Give yourself permission to say NO

Most of us say a knee-jerk "yes" to every invitation we get without asking ourselves if we really want to go.

Saying no doesn't mean you're saying no to the party or the people. It might mean that you're saying "yes" to yourself.

Maybe you need to go to bed early. Or you want to spend a quiet night writing in your journal.

Sometimes we eat out of distractedness and nervousness because our deepest desires aren't being met. When we ignore our true desires, we might try to compensate by filling up on "shadow desires." Shadow desires often come in the form of food and alcohol.

4 - Attract, Don't Push

Parties can be highly charged. Sometimes we walk through that door and instantly feel ourselves trying to "measure up," or prove ourselves to anyone who seems hip.

If you're familiar with this behavior, try this technique:

Stop and take a breath. Intend that you attract the perfect people to you. Do it with a sense of service, and trust.

Attraction is a powerful principle. You might be amazed at how effortless the party becomes, and how surprising the conversations are! You might hear the perfect solution to a personal challenge. Or you might be an angel to someone who needs a listening ear.

5 - Become an Alcohol-Free Observer

Recently, I opted out of drinking the perfunctory glass of wine at a dinner party. I chose to be present and to simply observe. I actively listened to people and observed the conversations all around me. Not in an aloof way, but in a deep way. I had a great time!

Try it. Forego the alcohol and become an observer. Quietly and non-judgmentally witness your behavior. See how actively you can listen in conversations. Really taste the food on your plate. You might discover a whole new definition of fun!
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This is not the typical magazine advice on holiday overeating. But it does work! You really can let the holidays and the Nervous Foods teach you a thing or two about how to create awareness and space, rather than anxiety and over-eating!

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Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog.

WASTED - available for replay

Did you miss the W.A.S.T."E".D. meeting?

No problem, the very powerful information session held at Franklin High on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 is still available for you to listen to.

Click here to find all six segments of the evening.

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The number of people who have listened since the session continues to grow.

Item	Content	Mins	# Replays
Wasted 1	Intro; FHS Students	23	28
Wasted 2	Bill Phillips	25	19
Wasted 3	Nick's story	24	34
Wasted 4	Josh's story	17	14
Wasted 5	Nick's parents view	10	17
Wasted 6	Q&A; next steps	26	41

I am a little surprised by the results thus far. As impressive as Nick's story was, Josh's story is short and to the point.

Likewise for Nick's parents point of view.

Don't miss interpret what my intention is, this is not a superficial popularity contest. These are real life stories. All the information was freely presented. It took courage and effort on the part of Bill, Nick, Josh, and Nick's parents to get up on the stage in front of 100 or so people.

You should be able to find 2 hours (especially with the segments broken up into approx 20-25 minutes apiece).

Skip a movie.
Have a listen.

Then have a good conversation with your son, daughter, neighbor, etc.

Franklin needs to be talking about this.
We (adults) need to show that our children matter to us.

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One quote that I love comes from Kirk Weisler and one of his T4D:

"Our example to our children, to our families, and to the world around us is constant. The question is not whether or not anyone is watching, the question is what are they learning as they watch."

FM #25 - WASTED - Part 6

This is Franklin Matters podcast #25. The sixth and final one of the series to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

This segment covers the Q&A session (with Bill, Nick, Josh, and Nick's parents) and the closing comments (by FHS Principal Pam Gould).

Time: 25 minutes, 47 seconds



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters continues the special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by WASTED and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2.

This series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place that evening.

In the first part, we listened as FHS Principal Pam Gould provided the introduction. We listened to the presentation by the FHS students from Marushka Waters’ class.

In the second part, we listened to William (Bill) Phillips, Director of New Beginnings. New Beginnings is a comprehensive wellness education program.

In the third part, we listened to Nick’s story. That could have been the story of your son or daughter.

In the fourth segment, we listened to Josh’s story. He is eighteen, a senior at North Attleboro High.

In the fifth segment, we listened to the parent’s point of view as Nick’s parents shared their experience.

In this sixth and final segment, we’ll listen to the Question and Answer period. Some of the questions might be hard to hear but you should be able to make out the question from the answer.

FHS Principal Pam Gould returns to wrap up the evening with announcements on next steps. This is just the beginning.

Listen carefully!

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This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/

If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network
Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

FM #24 - WASTED - Part 5

This is Franklin Matters podcast #24. The fifth of six podcasts to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

Nick's parents tell their side of the story in this segment.

Time: 10 minutes, 10 seconds



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters continues the special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by WASTED and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2.

This series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place that evening.

In the first part, we listened as FHS Principal Pam Gould provided the introduction. We listened to the presentation by the FHS students from Marushka Waters’ class.

In the second part, we listened to William (Bill) Phillips, Director of New Beginnings. New Beginnings is a comprehensive wellness education program.

In the third part, we listened to Nick’s story. That could have been the story of your son or daughter.

In the fourth segment, we listened to Josh’s story. He is eighteen, a senior at North Attleboro High.

In this fifth segment, we’ll listen to the parent’s point of view. Nick’s parents have their say.

Listen carefully!



Come back to hear the Q&A session as the evening wraps up.

----- -----

This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/

If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network
Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

FM #23 - WASTED - Part 4

This is Franklin Matters podcast #23. The fourth of several podcasts to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

This segment covers Josh's Story. Josh is 18 years old and a senior at North Attleboro High.

Time: 17 minutes, 1 second



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters continues the special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by WASTED and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2.

This series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place that evening.

In the first part, we listened as FHS Principal Pam Gould provided the introduction. We listened to the presentation by the FHS students from Marushka Waters’ class.

In the second part, we listened to William (Bill) Phillips, Director of New Beginnings. New Beginnings is a comprehensive wellness education program.

In the third part, we listened to Nick’s story. That could have been the story of your son or daughter.

In this fourth segment, we’ll listen to Josh’s story. He is eighteen, a senior at North Attleboro High.

Listen carefully!



Come back to hear the parents point of view. Nick’s parents have their say and the Q&A session as the evening wraps up.

----- -----

This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/

If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network
Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

FM #22 - WASTED - Part 3

This is Franklin Matters podcast #22. The third of six podcasts to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

In this segment, Nick tells his story.

Time: 24 minutes, 12 seconds



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters continues the special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2, 2008.

This series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place that evening.

In the first part, we listened as FHS Principal Pam Gould provided the introduction. We then listened to the presentation by the FHS students from Marushka Waters’ class.

In the second part, we listened to William (Bill) Phillips, Director of New Beginnings. New Beginnings is a comprehensive wellness education program.

In this third segment, we’ll listen to Nick’s story. This could be the story of your son or daughter.

Listen carefully!



Come back to hear Josh’s story and then to hear the parents point of view when Nick’s parents have their say.

----- -----

This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/

If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network
Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

WASTED - Info Session - 12/02/08

This is the collection of audio files replaying the information session presented by W.A.S.T."E".D at Franklin High School on Tuesday, December 2, 2008.

FM #20 - WASTED 12/2/08 - Part 1 - Intro and FHS Student presentation

The slide show that served as the backdrop for the student presentation can be found here

FM #21 - WASTED - Part 2 - Bill Phillips tells his part of the story

FM #22 - WASTED - Part 3 - Nick tells his story

FM #23 - WASTED - Part 4 - Josh tells his story

FM #24 - WASTED - Part 5 - Nick's parents provide their point of view

FM #25 - WASTED - Part 6 - Q&A session and closing

A slideshow of photos from this evening can be found here

FM #21 - WASTED - Part 2

This is Franklin Matters podcast #21. The second of six podcasts to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

Bill Phillips, Director of New Beginnings tells his part of the story in this segment.

Time: 24 minutes, 46 seconds



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters continues the special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by WASTED and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2.

If you were unable to attend, this series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place.

In the first part, we listened as FHS Principal Pam Gould introduces the problem, the formation of the WASTED group and outlined the presentations for the evening including the presentation by students from Marushka Waters’ class.

In this second part, we’ll listen to Principal Gould as she introduces William (Bill) Phillips, Director of New Beginnings. A comprehensive wellness education program.

Bill talks about his background and experience as a counselor for underage drinking and substance abuse.

Listen carefully!

----- -----

This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/

If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network
Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

FM #20 - WASTED 12/2/08 - Part 1

This is Franklin Matters podcast #20. The first of several podcasts to replay the information session on underage drinking. The session was organized by the group W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday December 2, 2008.

Time: 23 minutes, 10 seconds



MP3 File

Session Notes

This podcast for Franklin Matters will a special production capturing the information session on underage drinking sponsored by W.A.S.T."E".D and held at Franklin High School Tuesday evening, Dec 2, 2008.

If you were unable to attend, this series of podcasts will enable you to listen to the presentations and discussion that took place.

In this first part, we listen as FHS Principal Pam Gould introduces the problem, the formation of the WASTED group and outlines the presentations for the evening.

We’ll then listen to the presentation by students from Marushka Waters’ class.

The slide show that served as the backdrop for the presentation can be found here.

For me, there are two key quotes to remember. Both come from student voices at the end of this presentation. One is hard to hear as the student did not have the microphone to talk into, the second is more clearly heard. Both of which I have transcribed as follows:

1 – How come in Health class they teach us not to drink but they don’t teach us what to do in situations where people are drinking?

2 – Everyone of these stories you heard were written by someone on the stage. No one read their own monologue to protect their identities but we all wanted to share our stories because they’re real.

Listen carefully!

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This podcast has been a public service provided to my fellow citizens of Franklin, MA

For additional information, please visit Franklinmatters.blogspot.com/
If you have questions or comments you can reach me directly at shersteve @ gmail dot com

The musical intro and closing is from the Podsafe Music Network

Jon Schmidt - Powerful Exhilarating Piano Music

"he knows of parents who allow underage drinking"

By Joyce Kelly/Daily News staff

GHS

Posted Nov 26, 2008 @ 07:32 PM

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FRANKLIN —

Outraged that some parents think it's OK for their children and friends to drink alcohol at home, a coalition of concerned residents is shedding light on the problem of underage drinking.

Franklin High School Principal Pamela Gould has helped form a group called WASTED, or When Alcohol Starts To Effect Decisions. The group will host a meeting for parents on Tuesday, Dec. 2, at 7 p.m. at the high school, to share ideas to keep kids from drinking.

Many parents don't believe their children drink, but the problem is pervasive, Gould said.

Read the full article in the Milford Daily News here.

Community health committee

The Community Health Council presentin at the School Committee meeting Tuesday evening.

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